


Austen aint got none on this

by makeyamad



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, And sorry, Author Is Sleep Deprived, But different, Crack, Demon, Humor, M/M, Multi, Vampires, Werewolf, angel - Freeform, fuck the fae though, slimy bastards, the author tries, this is the fault of the tent scene, twilight - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-07 00:01:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17949698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makeyamad/pseuds/makeyamad
Summary: {Or, you know, Less creepy more gay version of twilight}Ah the joy of small town living...Tony gets a second chance he wants no part of. Steve traipses the globe to forget the one who got away. And Bucky is like, a mile out of crazy town. It's all good.(Rhodey would like these boys to get their shit together and be done with it so that he could moon over his crush in peace. Is it too much to ask?) Let's not forget the return of the ex from hell.No wonder Austen loved her small town stories. So much drama, amiright?





	1. cover art

**Author's Note:**

> To my lovely sibling, my fam who might never know I write at all, the commenters, the kudos givers and the anonymous subscribers (thank you folks! It's amazing to know someone wants to read more of my stuff!), my artist @writtenads, who is amazing and patient and very kind, and Sly, the wondermod, who's part of the reason I started writing at all.

  
  


[this](https://writtenads.tumblr.com) is my artist . Check her out!


	2. Know no Ho

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the beginning there was light..  
> and a sassy boy

**"I can explain", Steve blew out a breath. Raucous laughter startled him. "Oh, you better do, darling", Tony purred. The half light of the dawn cast a surrealistic scene. It made Tony's eyes glint like the barrel of the gun he was pointing at Steve. The smell of blood and rotting leaves combined with the alluring sound of a forest alive with prey was making Steve antsy. Inhaling through his nose made the itch worse. As it was, the gun pointed at him was the only thing keeping him from lunging at Bucky.**

  
  


**Bucky who was sprawled out behind Tony. He looked like a fallen angel in the field of moss and wild flowers. Except for his left leg which was doing the worst imitation of a crab's claw. And was the source of the aroma of blood. Steve suspected Tony knew. "Oi! My eyes are up here, duckweed", Tony snapped. Steve opened his mouth to retort when three things happened. A bird burst out of the thicket. Steve felt a tearing pain in his midriff. A shot rang out. "Oops", Tony did not sound sorry at all. Steve crumpled to the ground, hands pressing into the point of pain.**

**"Tony? That you?” Bucky sounded gruff. Tony hummed, "Hey Buckster, Long time, no see. Good to have you back in the land of living. Thought you croaked. It was a close call for a while you know? Anyways, between you and me, I'm the genius. So, sometimes I do things that may look bad but..." Bucky coughed, "What did you do, Tony?" Tony ducked his head,"Umm..." Steve felt as if he was stuck in a weird dream. He should wake up any moment now. He withdrew his hand from his tummy and gazed at the blood soaked fingers with mild curiosity. Was it cannibalism if he licked his own blood? Steve heard Bucky's sniff. “Anthony Edward Stark, What. Did. You... Wait. Why does it smell like Steve? Was he bleeding? Is he here? Steve?" Steve tried to make a sound but ended up gurgling.**

**Tony seemed to be panicking, "Bucky! Calm down! You are going to injure yourself!" But the sound of leaves rustling only increased, "What did you do, Tony? What did you do? Where is he?", Bucky's voice was tight. Tony drew a breath, "I...kindashothimbecausehewasclosetodrinkingyoudry?"  Bucky stilled,"...sorry?" Tony mumbled, "I shot him? It was an accident I swear!" Bucky inhaled. And exhaled. "What the fuck, you ducking asshole! What were you thinking?! We're you thinking at all? I..." Steve let Bucky's voice lull him into a trance like state. Was Tony always this unhinged?  Who knew? He had appeared decent enough back then. If a bit unscrewed up top. Well. It all started six months ago…**

**__________________________________________________________________________**

Six months ago... **“It is after sunset”, Tony tapped the dashboard as the as he listed off on his fingers, “I’m a unknown young male in his early twenties walking alone on the side of a highway.” The woman slid her shades down her nose to shoot him a look. “Fine”, Tony threw up his hands, “Late teens. Still. Major demographic with a tendency for committing crimes.” The lady hummed as she turned left on the lane.**

**“I have a heavy suitcase. My pants have too many pockets. And I’m yet to show you my left hand”, Tony ran out of fingers before he ran out of points. “Are you actually bitching at me for offering you a lift?,” the lady sounded amused. “What am saying is, you shouldn’t pick up random hitchhikers who may or may not be serial killers, Miss..”Tony trailed off. “Jessica”, she offered with a faint smirk. “Jessica, Hi, I’m Tony”, Tony grinned back.**

**“Tony”, Jessica greeted, “You know that saying goes both ways. What if I was the serial killer?” Tony turned in his seat to shoot her a look. “I even have a gun”, Jessica added, “check the glove box if you want to.” Tony burst out laughing, “Alright. That was good.” Jessica shook her head, smirk still in place. “Why are you going to Forks?”, she asked. “Will you believe me if I said college?”, Tony asked. “I didn’t think you were the artsy type”, Jessica raised an eyebrow.**

**“Mechanical engineering actually,” Tony said with a wry smile, “I turned down MIT to come here.” Jessica snorted, “Right.” Tony began protesting when she cut him off, “Where are you staying? The dorms haven’t been rebuilt since the last hurricane.” “I’m staying with my cousin”, Tony said. “You have a cousin here?”, Jessica asked. “Is that so surprising? I may look like a city slicker but I’m a country boy at heart”, Tony tipped his imaginary fedora at her, “m’lady”. Jessica choked on laughter.**

**“Where is this cousin of yours?”, Jessica asked as she drove in a sedate pace, “I’ll drop you there. Looks like it might rain tonight.” Tony pulled out his phone to check the weather app, “Gah, no coverage. Are you sure? I’m told it’s a bit far out.” Jessica shrugged. Tony rattled off the address. Sure enough, a drizzle started by the time they reached the house.**

**A bald wiry man stepped out, a black umbrella in hand, “Hey Sheriff, Something the matter?” Tony gaped, “Sheriff?!” “Nothing, Doc. Just dropping off a package for you”, Jessica winked at Tony as she unloaded his suitcases from her car. Tony scrambled to recover and looked at the new guy, “You are Ho.” And coughed to hide the snicker.**

**“I prefer Yinsen”, the man sighed, “You must be Tony.” Tony couldn’t stop the snickers now, “What was aunt Martha thinking naming you that? I can only imagine the hell highschool must have been to you cousin Ho.”  “I imagine it was worse for you, cousin Tony”, Yinsen hauled one of the smaller suitcases, “finishing highschool at, fourteen, was it?”**

**Tony grimaced at the flood of memories, “Oh boy. Let’s mutually agree to never talk of school times, yeah?” Yinsen’s smile was blandly pleasant, “If you say so.” Tony turned to Jessica,”Thanks for the ride Sheriff. And sorry about that safety lecture.” Jessica shrugged, “You keep out of troubles, okay? And don’t accept lift from strangers on highways,” she winked. Tony smiled slyly, “No promises.” Jessica smirked as she pulled away.**


	3. House troubles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony meets people . uncaffienated. The tragedy

**Tony blinked. The cloaked guy blinked back. Yinsen came in after locking the door to see the ultimate blink-off. “I see you’ve met Loki. Loki, this is Tony Colin, my cousin. He will be going to the Forks Uni and is staying with me,” Yinsen motioned to Tony. “This is Loki Laufeyson. He rents the first floor. He’s a drama major at the uni,” Yinsen waved a hand at the cloak guy.**

**Tony felt his eye twitch. He looked at Loki. Then at Yinsen. Then at Loki again. “He has a skull in his hand,” Tony stage whispered, “a human skull.” Loki rolled his eyes, “It’s a prop.” Tony ignored him and turned to Yinsen, “Are you sure he wouldn’t stab us in our sleep?” Yinsen chided, “Tony! I’m so sorry Loki. My cousin can be a bit dramatic.”**

**Loki waved his hand, “I don’t care about the opinions of an upstart midget.” Yinsen lunged to catch Tony before he fell on Loki. “I will cut you, bitch”, Tony was foaming with fury. “Don’t you fucking talk about my height, you greasy weasel”, Tony shouted at Loki’s retreating back. “How original”, Loki scoffed. “Fuck you”, Tony screamed.**

**Yinsen sighed, “Will you stop swearing?” Tony squirmed out of Yinsen’s grip, “I’ll speak however the fuck I want to. You are not my fucking keeper.” Yinsen pulled off his glasses and pressed the bridge of his nose, “You sound like a child who just learned the word fuck.”**

**Tony tried to come up with a retort. Drawing a blank, he huffed, “Whatever”, and stomped towards the door in the other end of the hallway, dragging his suitcase along. Yinsen picked up the smaller suitcases, “Your room is this way”. Tony groaned and marched back.**

**The rains stopped around dawn. A watery sun peeked out over the slushy meadows and evergreen of the Forks forest. Yinsen hummed as he fixed himself a cup of tea. A thump was heard somewhere in the house. It was followed by a muffled scream.**

**Yinsen debated on checking out the sound before deciding against it. Tea came before everything. Including wayward cousins who might have it out for his tenant. He heard the shuffling before he saw the crow’s nest hair. “Did you even sleep?,” Yinsen asked his bleary eyed cousin.**

**Tony narrowed his eyes, “I was setting up”. Yinsen furrowed his eyebrows, “I told you I’ll help set up your lab. You need to sleep. Go take a nap.” A patterned knock was heard through the house. Yinsen went to answer the door. Tony snorted, “Sleep is for the weak. What I need, is coffee.”**

**Yinsen opened the door with a smile, “Morning James.”  “Mornin’ doc”, the mystery guy answered as he handed over the grocery bag to Yinsen. His voice made Tony think of crisp winter air and warm campfires. He wondered if the guy was as mesmerizing as his voice.**

**Tony shook his head. The lack of coffee was getting to him if he was fantasizing about a guy because he has a nice voice. “…s Tony”, Yinsen motioned for Tony to come to the door. Tony shot him a bewildered look. They had been talking this whole time?**

**Tony shrugged. It wasn’t like he had anything to lose. Dating was out of question ever since. Since. He stopped himself before he fell down that rabbit hole of thoughts. He nearly swallowed his tongue when he saw the stranger.**

**If there was ever a Prince charming, it was this guy. Eyes like freshly cut diamonds shone out of a face that would make Michelangelo weep with envy. The lopsided smile was equally mischievous and kind. “James Barnes, you can call me Bucky”, the hand offered was calloused and warm.**

**Tony shook his hand with a sappy look, “You can call me, anytime”. Bucky laughed, “Stick to people your age, kid”. The dreamy bubble popped. “I’m eighteen”, Tony bit out. Bucky tilted his head, “Are you sure? You don’t look older than thirteen, shrimp”.**

**Tony ground his teeth, “What kind of name is Bucky anyways?” Yinsen shot him a warning look, “James will show you around. He has even agreed to give you rides from the uni to the house.” Tony sputtered, “I can drive myself. Howard told me he’ll...” Yinsen interrupted, “Your father”, he emphasized, “Wanted you to travel safely. He agreed to let James ferry you around till you become familiar with the terrain.”**

**“Howard”, Tony snarled, “knows I can drive better than anybody. What if I have to stay late? What if I want to come pick something up? I don’t want to ruin his…whatever the job he does”.**

**“I work for old man Grimm. I’m sure he wouldn’t die in that grocery store of his, if I left him alone for an hour or so,” Bucky shrugged. “Besides the doc is paying me for an hour more than Grimm does for a week.”**

**“Look I’ll pay you to leave me alone”, Tony ground his teeth, “And for your car.” Bucky thought for a moment, “No.” “Besides, with what money are you going to pay him Tony?”, Yinsen asked, “All your credit cards are locked and your funds won’t be released to you until you are twenty one. I’m not paying for a car out of my pocket. Unless you’ve got a cushy job lined up you can walk to and fro. Or take Bucky’s generous offer.”**

**“I’m going to kill that bastard when I get back”, Tony fumed as he stomped away. Bucky’s eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. He shot Yinsen a look. Yinsen shrugged. His cousin was a dramatic son of a bitch. He didn’t expect any less from the boy who used to have all the adults wrapped around his little finger since five.**

**Howard might have had the right idea putting Tony in the boarding school when he did. Yinsen shuddered to think of how much more spoiled Tony could have been if he grew up coddled by his mother.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do you call people who stop cars with their bare hands?

**Sunlight filtered through light green leaves casting beautiful patterns on the pavement. The decrepit fountain was functioning miraculously, adding to the atmosphere. It was one of those days; Forks looked like a cozy hometown instead of the depressing hellhole it was.**

**And what good was a town without gossip? “What is that boy doing here?” Mrs. Robertson grumbled as she fussed with her purse. Her general mistrust towards teenagers amplified whenever she was within ten feet of Tony. It wasn’t unexpected. Tony had established a record for himself; in the academia of University, in the Sheriff’s office and in the town heartthrob circuit. Who could resist a bad boy?**

**“Ain’t here for church, sure as hell”, Mr. Martin added. The old guy seemed to have it out for the boy ever since Tony refused to fix his car for free.  “For sandwiches and lemonade! Food aint free, the brat is an ingrate”, Martin had raged.**

**Unfortunately for him, Tony had established ground rules for all tinkering he took up, on Bucky’s insistence. You pay for the parts and the hours if you want Tony to touch your vehicle. With his generous pension, Martin could afford Tony. It’s just he didn’t want to.**

**“Waiting for his cousin to come from the mass, I suppose”, Abrogast cut in. “Good morning, Jean”, Mrs. Robertson greeted. “Morning, Ann”, Abrogast replied, “how is Stewart?” “He’s been better since they changed his knee,” Mrs. Robertson beamed.**

**“Say Jeanie, are you gonna expel that brat this time?” Martin asked, glaring. Tony sat near the cool spray of the fountain, hunched over his phone, unaware of the eyes on him. “I can’t, John,” Ann sighed, “his father has agreed to replace the entire laboratory for us.” Mrs. Robertson gasped, “That is the third time he’s destroyed and replaced the lab in what… two months? Is that Colin boy really a prince from some exotic country?”**

**“As far as I know, his father is a reclusive industrialist. He sent his son here to teach him a lesson. I heard he got involved in something dangerous in his last school. His health records say the boy has been having issues since the sudden death of someone close to him”, Abrogast knew it was unprofessional to give away information about one of her students. But the excitement, not to mention the digging she had to do to get this amount of vague information. Tony Colin was swathed in so many layers of secrecy, he was practically inviting the folks of Forks to snoop.**

**Many of them suspected the poor doctor was being forced to take care of the hellion. Yinsen was quite the upstanding citizen of the town; his ‘cousin’ was known for the fights he got into.**

**“I knew something was wrong with him!” spittle flew as Martin got excited. “I bet he was on drugs and had killed someone. His father must have packed him off to prevent jail time”, Ann added her two cents to their theory.**

**Jean paused. The boy was disturbed, yes. But he had his heart in the right place. He definitely didn’t seem to be the murdering sort. Jean liked to think, after teaching for forty years and being the dean for the last ten, she could read her students well.  But she would earn her friends’ disapproval if she defended the boy now.**

**“It isn’t nice of you folks to talk smack about the kid”, the three gossips jumped guiltily. Bucky Barnes stood a few feet away, lips pursed.  “Bucky, you know that boy isn’t quite right in his head”, Ann said, “He destroyed your car!”**

**“That was two months ago. He was mad that he was being treated like a kid. He’s better now. Been working on cars and earning his keep. Even paid me back and worked my car for free”, Bucky admonished. “Act like a baby, get treated like one”, Martin sneered. He was still sore about not getting a free car job like Bucky had.**

**“He’s only eighteen. We have all been young and stupid once”, Jean added weakly. Bucky was one of the nice ones in town. He took great care of old man Grimm. Ann had been trying to set up one of her grandchildren with Bucky for ages. As if Bucky would look anywhere after he met Jean’s Paula. It would only do to support her future son in law.**

**“He is not stupid. He’s evil”, Ann shuddered with a twist of her mouth. That boy and his awful eyes and his mad cackling. She swore she once saw his eyes turn black when he was angry.**

**“Carol tells me he’s well behaved when he wants to be”, Jean mused. Carol Danvers was the student council president and daughter of folks of the earth. She had been the one to appear in Tony’s council hearings and had taken him under her wing. Great things were predicted of the girl’s future.**

**“That Danvers girl is too naïve”, Martin scoffed. “Noble, you mean”, Bucky’s tone was glacial. He rarely tolerated talking ill of anyone. Such a gentleman. Both women sighed internally. If only they had been a few years younger.**

**“She’s going to make for an amazing president one day”, Jean gushed. That girl had a head for leadership. Just like her senator uncle and her erstwhile councilman grandfather. However she was too attached to her lab work to even look at the dais.**

**“Get your words right Jean. First lady. But I doubt she’ll become anything but a spinster if she keeps scowling like that,” Martin grumbled. Jean pursed her lips. Well. You can’t teach an old dog to roll over.**

**“Yeah, she should smile more. She could catch any man with that lovely face of hers”, Ann agreed. She was always nitpicking when it came to Carol. Rumor had it that Carol’s grandmother had beat out Ann over courting the councilman. Same as she had beat her in studies, when they had been schoolmates. Schoolyard rivalries were funny stuff.**

**“Who’s catching whom and why am I not invited?” Tony popped in.  Bucky smiled at him warmly. “Morning Dean Abrogast”, Tony greeted as he slung an arm over Bucky’s shoulder. While standing on a wooden box. On tiptoes. Tony was weird about the height thing. And Bucky let him be. (He didn’t think about another little guy with a big temper and a bigger heart. He did not.)**

**“Just reliving old memories. Is Yinsen ready to go?” Bucky began steering Tony away. “No. He said something about volunteering. Told me, I can go if I want to”, Tony answered as he looked around distractedly.**

**“At least someone is god-fearing”, Bucky grit his teeth. Martin was going to end up catching Tony’s fists one of these days. How provoking the boy was going to make him offer his services for free, Bucky would never know.**

**“He does it more out of love than fear, Marty”, Tony’s airy tone did nothing to soften his posture nor did he loosen his clenched fist. “What would you know about that you devil worshipper”, Martin spat.**

**“Actually Loki is the Satanist. I’m an atheist,” Tony smirked.  “What difference does it make, freak?” Martin sneered. Bucky put his hand on Tony, a subtle gesture. Stop. He isn’t worth it.**

**“None to you, Marty boy, none at all,” Tony laughed. It was that one; the one that made Bucky’s hair stand on end. Unlike other folks, Bucky didn’t believe in the Tony-was-the-devil theory. But sometimes. Sometimes he wondered.**

**“Be more respectful young man”, Abrogast scolded. “I will when he acts worthy of it”, Tony replied, “Ma’am”. Martin’s beady eyes were bulging with anger. He turned to Ann, “Don’t you see? he’s no prince! Only filthy scum can give birth to this…this demon.” Mrs. Robertson looked uncomfortable being dragged into this.**

**Tony stiffened under Bucky’s hold. “Take it back”, Tony’s quiet voice made Martin step back. Bucky began to pull Tony away; that was enough excitement for the day.**

**“Or what, boy”, Martin stuttered out with a shaky sneer. Tony bare his teeth and lunged at Martin. “Tony!” Bucky was struggling to maintain his grip, “Come on. Let’s go.”**

**One other thing about the mystery that was Tony. Bucky had to be mindful of his strength. The first time he had punched Bucky in the face, he broke Bucky’s cheek bone.**

**It was a surprise; Tony looked like a strong wind would blow him away. It was terrifying; a werewolf’s bones weren’t that easy to break. Maybe Bucky’s magic was waning. It was unusual for a werewolf to live as long as Bucky had, without a pack.**

**Forks was an excellent home for a lone wolf like Bucky; the wolf community was very accommodating. It was also a fertile ground for gossip. Given the last witch burning in the town was only a hundred years ago, any and every anomaly was frowned upon.**

**Bucky learned to moderate himself after he accidentally bent a steel rod out of shape when trying to fix Mr. Thomas’ roof. Tony never did. Mrs. Robertson began pulling out the pepper spray. Oh hell Nah. He was not getting maced on the face today. Bucky renewed his efforts to get Tony away.**

**“Think about Yinsen. He’d be so disappointed if you got into scuffle now”, Bucky hissed. The only guy who could claim to have Tony’s respect in Forks was Yinsen. Tony shrugged Bucky off and stomped away to cross the road.**

**“Come back here!” Martin hooted. “Please shut up”, Abrogast stepped in. Just in time. Bucky wanted to smack the guy himself. After all, Bucky was older than the three of them. Thanks to the wolf genes, he looked twenty nine at ninety nine.**

**In the height of teenage angsting, Tony failed to notice the van that was coming down the road. The driver was blaring the horn. Unfortunately, the Sunday crowd was a sticky thing; you couldn’t maneuver on either side without hitting at least three people. Not to mention the roadside hawkers.**

**“Tony”, Bucky cried out, “Watch out!” Tony turned to look at him blankly. Bucky pointed at the vehicle and flailed his arms, “Move!”  Tony’s eyes widened. He made to step away before he stopped. Bucky swore he saw Tony smile.**

**The crowd around them was coming alive. Piercing shrieks and people running helter skelter added to the confusion. Tony stood, head cocked, in the middle of it all, like he was bored. Bucky cursed as Tony closed his eyes. Was he trying to kill himself?**

**The horrible screech of metal and glass wrenching put a stop to everything. Bucky felt like he was hovering out of his own body. His right arm throbbed where it was buried in the warped hood of the car. Hopefully it wasn’t broken. His left arm was curled behind him, around Tony.**

**“You idiot!”, Tony was the first one to recover. He was frantic. But his hands. They were gentle. Tony’s hands fluttered around Bucky, desperate to know he wasn’t injured but afraid. Too afraid to touch him. Maybe he knew? “Who the hell stands in front of a fucking car like a fucking moron?”, Tony snapped.**

**“You the fuck did, asshole”, Bucky bit back. And then, he heard the voice. The one featured in his nightmares and daydreams both. “Bucky”, he breathed. Like a prayer. “Do you remember me?” As if he could forget. Bucky sucked in a breath.**

**Deliberately, he turned to look at the guy his eyes were simply refusing to look at. He looked ragged. And hopeful. Bucky didn’t know what he was expecting. (Lies. Bucky watched every episode he was in. It was a ritual. Wake up. Coffee. Watch or rather rewatch Ste…his show.) He always looked so sad.In the shows, in the premieres, in the goddamn paparazzi photos. Even when he smiled. Though the beard was blazing hot. (Bucky didn’t even know he could grow a beard!)**

**Steve seemed to wither under Bucky’s blank stare. He opened his mouth to say something when Tony cut in, “Hey. Do I know you?”**

**“..No”, Steve’s brows furrowed in irritation. “I swear you look just like my ex. Tall, blond and built”, Tony’s chirpy voice made Bucky suspicious. Tony smiled like Cheshire cat as he finished, “And absolute airhead. What happened? Forgot how to use the brakes?” Uh oh. Steve’s jaw tightened. Bucky despaired. Why did Tony have to go around picking fights every ten minutes?**

**“Listen mister…”, Steve had drawn up to his full height.“Tony. Tony Colin”, Tony clenched his fist. His grin sharpened to something shark like. “Whoever you are…” Steve began. “And you are?” Tony cut in. Bucky gave up. All hopes of peaceful resolution had vanished. Time to get Yinsen.**

**“Steve Rogers”, Steve’s eyes narrowed. Bucky stopped edging out of the scene. Tony rolled his shoulders, “Hello Steven. Nice to meet you. Thought I should know your name before I punch you in your perfect teeth.”**


End file.
